THE OBLER PACKAGE DEAL

[Stanley]

THE OBLER PACKAGE DEAL

22 January 2006

I have a daughter who must be infected with the same bug (or perhaps genes) as myself. She is a successful and highly regarded engineer but has decided that an MBA would be a Good Thing. Whilst making preparations for a third assault on the heights of academe she remembered something I sent her years ago but when she looked she couldn’t find it. What follows is father’s attempt to rectify this sad evidence of middle-aged forgetfulness.
First, the back story. For many years I was convinced I would die at the age of 42. Funnily enough, this was the age at which I re-entered education and got myself into university after being rejected by the world of commerce, they shut the mill down where I was the engineer, so I suppose for ‘death’ read rebirth. I had many problems, one of which was that I wrote as I thought, not a bad thing but when your thoughts lack discipline, so does your writing. My essays drove my tutors mad, my old friend Dr Robert Bliss was convinced that I didn’t understand the meaning of the word conclusion. The problem was that my writing gave evidence of joined up neurones but didn’t bridge the gap between the thought and rational communication with the outside world.
All this changed when the excellent Dr Susan Obler gave me a copy of a paper she had written for her students at Rio Hondo College in Whittier CA to guide them in the basic principles of essay and report writing; ‘The Obler package deal for successful college writing’. I read it, put it into practice and after reading my first essay on my return from California another friend and tutor, Dr Stephen Constantine asked me where exactly had I gone for the operation.
I still have Susi’s original document, 70 pages of good advice and examples. I’m not going to transcribe the lot, most of it is hand written and as we used to say in those far off days, mimeographed. So to aid daughter Janet and anyone else who reads this I am going to paraphrase the basic rules. Take note, reading this and applying the knowledge could alter your life, it will certainly improve your writing.

THE BASIC RULES OF THE PACKAGE DEAL.
GLOSSARY
THESIS STATEMENT- (T.S.) A complete sentence that states the main idea of the whole paper. It appears FIRST in the paper.
TOPIC SENTENCE- (t.s.) The first sentence in a supporting or body paragraph that states what the entire paragraph's main idea is. This sentence follows upon the Thesis Statement and supports it. It appears as the first sentence in each paragraph.
TRANSITIONAL SENTENCE- A sentence designed to connect two paragraphs. It appears at the end of a paragraph, alerting the reader to the topic of the next paragraph and it serves as a “hinge” between the two.
INTRODUCTION- The first paragraph of a five-paragraph paper that tells the reader what the paper is about. It introduces the main idea (T.S.) and the supporting sub-topics.
BODY- The central three paragraphs of the five-paragraph paper that support the main idea (the T.S.).
CONCLUSION- The final or fifth paragraph of the five-paragraph paper that serves to interrelate the three sub-topics of the body and provides the paper with a sense of “closure.”
SUB-TOPIC- Three sub-topics are developed into the supporting paragraphs that are the body of the paper. These sub-topics serve to support the main idea as it is stated in the T.S.
EXAMPLES- Concrete support of the sub-topic appears in the body paragraphs in order to make your ideas convincing. Sometimes these come in the form of published sources requiring documentation (footnotes and bibliography).
SUB-TOPIC A,B,C- An easy way to refer to the three body paragraphs so as not to confuse them with their placement in the paper as the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th paragraphs.
Right, those are the concepts, here’s the structure of a short five paragraph paper:
Paragraph 1. The thesis statement is the first sentence in the paper hence it is the first sentence in the introduction. In one sentence it tells the reader what the whole paper is about. The introduction will then go on to introduce the main sub-topics of the paper and inspire the reader’s interest.
Paragraph 2. The body of the paper begins with the second paragraph and its first sentence is the topic sentence for this paragraph. The remainder of this paragraph and others in the body of the paper will present concrete examples (evidence) to support the topic of this paragraph. No doubt, since this paragraph will be so thoroughly developed it will be continued on page 2 and will end with a brilliant transitional sentence that will lead the reader into the next paragraph.
Paragraph 3. The body of the paper continues with the second paragraph which will begin with a flawless topic sentence, proceed through examples and evidence and end with another snappy transitional sentence.
Paragraph 4. This is the final paragraph of the body of the paper and contains topic C. It will begin with a topic sentence, give examples and evidence which will remove any remaining doubts in the reader’s mind. This paragraph should have a definite ending but need not have a transitional sentence.
Paragraph 5. This is the conclusion and the writer will presumably bring together the sub-topics discussed, summarise the skeleton of the argument and get the reader off the page. It is permissible, indeed attractive, to leave her/him wanting more but convinced that enough has been done to advance the Thesis Statement.
There you are, that’s it. An Oxford Don once summarised this method as “Tell them what you’re going to tell them. Tell them. Finish by telling them what you have told them”. In other words the introduction is the road map, the body is the route and the conclusion is the report on what you have seen.
What I have described is a very simple and mechanistic way of writing a paper. Remember the stabilisers on your first two wheeled bike? That’s exactly what this is. As you absorb the principles and gain confidence you will expand the scope of your writing but be sure that when you do you do not fail to incorporate the structure I have described. It is the foundation of all writing and can be used for a humble cottage or a palace. Here are a couple of pieces I wrote many years ago when all this was fresh in my mind:

THE WHAT DEAL? A NAIVE OCCASIONAL PAPER.
(Yes, that’s right, I was writing NOPs in 1980.)
Those of us who have been lucky enough to meet the formidable Ms. Obler during the course of our academic career know only to well 'what deal'. The Package Deal was to many of us the first time we were ever taught a methodology of writing papers, essays and reports. As a tool it transcends these fields and in effect becomes a basis for a logical way of ordering our thoughts and communicating them to other people.
So far, so good. However, like any other good idea it can be criticised. One criticism that has been made is that it is rigid, confining and predictable. A paper written using the precepts of the PD is almost stereotyped, only the content distinguishes it from its fellows from the same stable. I consider this to be a harsh judgement but must admit that there is more than a grain of truth in it. It merits a considered answer.
It would be difficult to find any evidence of adherence to the precepts of the PD in a work like Ulysses or in the sonnets of Shakespeare. The authors had evidently not met Ms. Obler. We are forced to admit nevertheless that these men did turn out good writing. What are the chances that a student of the PD could rise to these heady heights?
I believe that there is every chance. It is a mistake to see the PD as rigid or confining. It would perhaps be more fair to describe it as pedestrian. By this I mean that it is a first stage. It is walking before running. It is learning to float before attempting to swim.
Perhaps the greatest benefit that the PD confers on its devotees is that it gives them the ability to write a piece of prose that is concise, comprehendable and has a logical structure. This is no mean achievement and is a level not reached by most mortal men, no matter how 'good' their education. Practised conscientiously the PD encourages the use of logical thought patterns which is the first essential to any sort of writing. Our subject matter must be clear and well-ordered within ourselves before we can present it to others. Once we have mastered these arts it may be that we will write a piece which does not contain thesis statement, body paragraphs and transitional sentences in neat Oblerian fashion. One thing is certain, whatever this master-work of prose is it will be better for having mastered the PD than it would have been if we had never met Ms. Obler.
So take heart. When all about seems grey and gloomy and the dreaded body paragraphs and transitional sentences assume an importance in your lives comparable to the draft and communications from the IRS, be sure that the universe is unfolding as it should, what you do is worthwhile, and when you meet an opponent of the Obler PD system, ask them to show you the last thing they wrote. You may be in for a surprise!

31 July 1980. Rio Hondo College.

USING THE PACKAGE DEAL IN AN EXAM. SITUATION.
Perhaps the first thing to say on this subject is that the package deal is not being used to its fullest until one realises that is not simply a methodology for essay writing. Perhaps even this statement is not correct. The Package Deal might be just that, it may be that the concept which requires clarification is the essay itself. Why do we write essays?
The essay is an attempt to communicate a concept or an argument to another person in a logical and clearly understandable form. The process of committing this communication to paper and the effort to achieve clarity often aids our own understanding of the subject we deal with. We often find as we write exploring a concept and marshal our facts logically that the conclusions we started with are modified and sometimes radically changed. The process of rendering our subject more easily understandable to the person we communicate with has fulfilled the same function for us. The essay is then as much a communication with ourselves as with some outsider.
If we accept this concept the Package Deal assumes a larger significance than just an effective way of writing essays. It becomes an effective tool in the struggle to bring some order into the way we think. It becomes an aid, not only to logical expression but to logical thought.
Use of the PD during the day to day work of writing essays encourages the student to clearly marshal the facts, decide what evidence is to be deployed in support of these facts and set the whole down in a logical sequence which is easily readable, comprehendable and acceptable. Surely this is what we seek to do in an examination? Once the habit has been formed of working in this way the application of the PD to an exam situation is almost automatic. The main difference is that the student has to work out the Topic Sentences in his or her head instead-of having the luxury of time and paper enough to write them out and juggle with them. Once the topic sentences are worked out the introduction has written itself and the only real discipline needed is to confine ones efforts to the subject in hand during each paragraph and not drift off into irrelevancies.
Perhaps what all this boils down to is the fact that before we can be clear to an outsider we have to be clear to ourselves. The classic example of this is when we try to explain something to another person when in fact we know nothing about it ourselves. If we can't give facts in a logical order we can't explain or present an argument. The PD is an indispensable tool in this area. The examination is the classic example of the communication situation. Therefore the PD is an excellent tool in an exam.
(30 July 1980)

One last thought, it’s amazing how often I have found that after writing a formal paper I have had to go back and rewrite the introduction. What I do now is leave the introduction until I have written the paper. By all means do a draft introduction which lists the main topics you are going to address but be ready to rewrite it once you have found out exactly what is going on in your head.

22 January 2006

Dr. Susan Obler.

[Tripps]

I tried to read the advice, but rapidly lost the will to live. Good grief. I speak as one who enjoys your writing style, and in fact praised it unprompted,jut a few days ago. I would add a rule - don't use an acronym twice which has the same letters, forcing a change from upper to lower case letters. (TS to ts).

It's almost poetic - in the army a piece of advice was often offered to a colleague who was schimfing (complaining) - to go to the stores and request a TS chit. That was Tough S**t chit.