OneGuyFromBarlick

Oh dear

I have to agree with you Kev,,,,,
I can understand that one Peter!

Good Grief! Where do you get them from?

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Any better?

You put that one up last Friday Kev.

PanBiker wrote: ↑27 Apr 2026, 14:54 You put that one up last Friday Kev.

It's either my eyesight or my brain going

Probably more of an observation

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One Christmas, I decided to go all out and bought my mother- in - law a cemetery plot.
The following year, I didn’t get her anything.
When she asked why, I said “Well… you haven’t used last year’s gift!”
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That’s when things escalated… quickly.

True story

Dolly Parton and King Charles happened to arrive at the Pearly Gates on the very same day.

They were greeted by an angel who explained that, due to a paperwork mix-up, there was only one opening available in Heaven that afternoon.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to decide which one of you gets in,” the angel said.

The angel turned to Dolly and asked if there was any special reason she should be admitted.

Dolly smiled, took off her top and said, “Look at these, they're two of God's most perfect creations and I'm sure it will please Him to be able to see them every day, for eternity.”

The angel thanked her politely and then asked King Charles the same question.

Without saying a word, the King walked over to a nearby restroom, pressed the handle, and flushed the toilet.

The angel immediately turned and said, “Your Majesty, welcome to Heaven.”

Dolly stared in disbelief and said, “Hold on just a minute. I showed you two of God's own perfect creations and you turned me down, and he just flushed a toilet. How does that make sense?”

The angel shrugged and replied, “Sorry, Dolly, but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair every time.”

Good Grief! (But it was funny)

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A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR and the bartender asks, “What’ll you have?”
The man answers, “A scotch on the rocks, please.”
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The bartender hands him the drink and says, “That‘ll be five dollars.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this,” the man replies.
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A lawyer , sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender,
“You know, he has a point there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.”
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The bartender now pissed off, says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for this one. But don’t ever come back here again!”
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A few days later, the same man walks into the bar….
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The bartender says, “What do think you’re doing in here? I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity to come back!”
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The man says, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place in my life!”
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The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this is uncanny. I feel like you were here a few days ago.
You must have a double.”
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To which the man replies,
“Thank you. Make it a scotch.”