OneGuyFromBarlick

Clever and accurate....

. .

Stop it

Clever play on words Cathy.....

These are getting worse

The baby Jesus was 7 pounds 2 ounces at birth.
This was determined through a weigh in a manger.

I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It's not her main present, just a stocking filler.

And I thought mine was bad.

The wooden leg joke.... It's a matter of opinion.

Trouble at Number Ten...

. .

A friend of mine lived in an inflatable house, unfortunately it got a puncture and he now lives in a flat.

Good God Kev! Where do you get them?

A man walked into the vegetable section of his local supermarket and asked for half a head of lettuce. The boy working there told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy asked his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some tosser wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later, the manager found the boy and said, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from son?"
"Originally from Essex sir," the boy replied.
"Why did you leave Essex?" the manager asked.
The boy answered, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and footballers there."
"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Essex."
"You don't say" the boy replied. "Who does she play for?

Very Clever!

If you're struggling with what to get someone for Christmas, buy them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

Kev, you won't have any Christmas crackers left at Xmas if you keep opening them at this rate!

Tizer wrote: ↑11 Dec 2025, 15:31 Kev, you won't have any Christmas crackers left at Xmas if you keep opening them at this rate!

You lot are on good form. I like the Ikea joke particularly......