OneGuyFromBarlick

That sounds like my level!

The worst James Bond film ever

Good one Kev… Classic

My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week."

I like it!

Served him right!

Father Christmas and Mrs Christmas were getting ready on Christmas Eve for the big event. Mrs Christmas looked through the window and said “I think it’s beginning to snow”, Father Christmas but his head out the door and said, “no, it’s rain dear”.

Oh Dear.....

Tize, all really good. I especially like number 4.

Yes, and the last one about the teacher is a bit cheeky!

The first one reminds me of something that happened during the war. Kids sometimes have secret worries that really upset them. Mine was the fact that I was convinced my dad was59 years old, terribly ancient for a six year old lad.
When my Mum and Dad discovered this was bothering me they asked me what made me think he was that old and I told them that this was what the shoulder flash on his Home Guard overcoat said.... MAN59!

. .
Hehe, Hehe.

"Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings....."

This was the front page of the Observer on the weekend...

A notable feat no matter what interpretation was used....

A photographer was injured today when a huge lump of cheese hit him on the head, this was despite the people being photographed trying to warn him.

It took me a while...